Hatchi Review – This used to be people’s idea of handheld fun?

By
On November 22, 2012

App Type: Uncategorized

Hatchi Review – This used to be people’s idea of handheld fun?

Our rating:

By: Portable Pixels Ltd

Version #: 3.8

Date Released: 2012-11-06

Developer: http://portablepixels.com/contact-us

Price: 0.99

User Rating:
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Remember the late nineties/early noughties when Tamagotchi’s were actually cool? Everyone (underneath the age of 15) would be going around with them on their key-chain, comparing how long they’ve kept ‘em alive for, and routinely cleaning up their pixellated little turds. It was Tamageddon in playgrounds all over the world!

Since my last tamagotchi died in a puddle of its own filth over 10 years ago, I haven’t looked back, but seeing Hatchi pop up on the App Store made me feel strangely nostalgic. I purchased it without a second thought and got to work on the little bugger.

As is often the case with such things, the Hatchi is not nearly as fun as I remember it being. While the intentionally crap pixellated graphics and 1-bit sound FX do pluck at nostalgic strings, I’ve forgotten how pointless the whole exercise is.

The top of the screen has all the various bars – food, hygiene, energy etc. – you need to keep full for your Hatchi, while the bottom of the screen has all the corresponding activities. Sadly, there are no mini-games for you to play with your Hatchi, so while his ‘Active’ or ‘Smarts’ attributes may be improving, your job is merely to tap , tap and tap some more until he’s satisfied. It just feels like an unbalanced relationship; why keep it alive if it doesn’t provide you with any fun or happiness?

You can set up the Hatchi to send you push notifications, so the useless creature can literally be waking you up in the middle of the night because it needs a shower or shit! This may be staying true to its Tamagotchi roots, but technology and ideas of handheld fun have come a long way since then. Now, excuse me as I intentionally neglect my Hatchi and gleefully watch it wither away and die, never to be used again.

Editor note: Hatchi now has minigames you can play with your Hatchi, as well as Game Center achievements and a newer range of features. So… why not give it a try? 

In short: it was more fun 10 years ago. Give it a try only if you are nostalgic.

Quick Take

Value:Low.

Would I Buy Again:No.

Learning Curve:Low - nothing to it.

Who Is It For:Tamagotchi nostalgics - no one else.

What I Like:Mildly nostalgic.

What I Don't Like:Makes you regret wasting so much time on it when you were younger.

Final Statement:A true-to-roots re-hash of a Tamagotchi - fun once, now it just feels dated.

Read the Developer's Notes:
***As featured on Touch Arcade, Gizmodo and many more***

Hatchi is a retro virtual pet. He needs YOU!

You'll need to feed, clean, play with and generally look after your pet to ensure it grows up!

It has several different forms it can evolve into depending on how you look after it.

Hatchi is a retro-looking iPhone app sure to get the nostalgia burning for all those who cared for a virtual pet back in the 1990s when they were at the height of their popularity. Just as with the keychain-sized pets of the 90s, iPhone users now will feed, clean, play with and generally look after their pets to ensure they grow up to be healthy, happy little Hatchis.

The Hatchi monster will go through several stages of growth, and will develop differently depending on the quality of care the player provides. A successfully raised Hatchi monster will be smarter, happier, and require less attention.

Touch Arcade reviewer Brad Nicholson remarked, “It's hilarious, but I really, really, really don't want Big Poppa Pump (his Hatchi monster) to bite the dust. I've somehow bonded with the thing, as silly as that sounds, and the competitive part of my brain wants to see an evolution based on my meticulous play.”

Article By

I'm an up-and-coming freelance writer (or so I like to think) specialising in film, apps and gaming. Aside from writing app reviews on what sometimes feels like a mass scale, I've also contributed work to The Independent and IGN.com, and am on the writing team of the popular Lifestyle blog, WhatCulture.com. Like what you see? Follow me on Twitter @Rob_Zed and get in touch!

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